Russian Beauty - American Psycho
by C O N T R I T E
Summary: Natasha Angelova only ever knew Raymond Reddington as a man, a distant man, but a man. He was the man that would make her a killer of lesser men. He was the man that would make her more than any other Angelov had lived to be. If Raymond Reddington was the Concierge of Crime, then Natasha Angelova was the Saint of it. Eventual Red/OC Set Pre Show
1. Beginnings

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **Hello there lovelies! This is something new I'm trying out since I just recently hardcore got into Blacklist. I do hope that everyone that happens to read it, enjoys immensely as is such the dream of any author. As always, any criticism, insight or thoughts on the intro presented to you below is more than welcome. Thank you so much for even looking at my writing. Feel free to fav, alert and reviews as they're much appreciated.

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**Russian Beauty / American Psycho**

**T****his feature is rated T, for obscene language and mild gore. But mostly the language.**

**DISCLAIMER: ****I own nothing but Natasha and Dimitri Angelov. Things that are unfamiliar and original in plot, also belong to me. Anything recognizable, does not but to its respective owners.**

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_The beginnings and ends of shadow lie between the light and darkness and may be infinitely diminished and infinitely increased. Shadow is the means by which bodies display their form. The forms of bodies could not be understood in detail but for shadow._

_Leonardo da Vinci_

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**_BEGINNING_**

Natasha Angelova had a family once, or at least those were the stories she had been told by the man that refused to be called her father or much of anything really but a man.

He honestly couldn't tell her that much about this family of hers. The only facts he had were that her father was a somewhat good man, that was the head of a shady Russian crime family deep in the heart of Moscow and because of the lifestyle he led, he had been murdered, along with all of the Angelova family and loyalists. He could tell her nothing of her mother, be it that she was already dead when he had come to find her or that she hadn't been all that involved in the family business, Natasha didn't really care.

She had never had them, well she honestly couldn't remember having them, even though she hadn't lost them until she was eight. He never failed to admit that he had never actually met her father and was only telling her things he had heard in the company he had kept. All she could remember was Red. He was all there ever had been, all she could remember from her childhood – if you could even really call it that.

Red hadn't wanted to be her father, hadn't wanted to mentor her in any way in her childhood. You could say that the moment he decided to save the little Russian doll, had been a moment of weakness for the man. He honestly hadn't had any good intentions when he entered the Angelov estate that night. He had been with a business acquaintance and looking for any information on the Russians and their more nefarious deeds that he could get his hands on and then, then he had walked into Dimitri Angelov's office. Which just happened to the be the very room that the criminal kingpin had stored his most valuable treasure, his daughter, his Natasha.

The entire family had already been rounded up and shot, point blank in the back of the head. They had assumed they had gotten each and every of of the Angelov's, but they were wrong. The smallest of them was hidden under her fathers massive desk, shivering and with tears falling down her face silently. His hardened heart had broken when he found the little girl, a reaction he did not expect in the slightest. She didn't look even the tiniest bit like the daughter of his own that he had lost, no, she was the complete opposite.

She was so small and so frail, so unknowing to the ugliness that the family she belonged to was. But those glassy blue eyes had looked up at him with such terror in him that her entire body had stilled, except for her bottom lip that began quivering and he couldn't help it. He couldn't stop the decision already being made. The tiny Angelova would live, and he would be the one to give her this gift.

He hadn't regretted it at first. Not when he picked the tiny thing up while reassuring her that she was completely safe and that he was taking her away to somewhere even safer. She never questioned or fought him once as he carried her away from the only home she knew. He had wondered then if it was a self preservation tactic, and realized quickly, weeks later, that it was more than that. That in that moment, before he took even more of her childhood away, she truly was innocent and pure. Perhaps it was the moment that he regretted it, because it was that moment that he realized that saving her came with so much more than just taking her to safety and washing his hands of it.

She was a child, a smart one at that. One that been born into the life of crime, lies and deceit and had known nothing but. She wouldn't be easy and satiable, she would require so much more than he could give her, or even wanted to. He would never allow himself to be her father figure, a man of guidance and love. He could never be that to anyone but the child he had lost, that part of him was dead and far gone.

Natasha Angelova only ever knew Raymond Reddington as a man. A distant man. A distant man that had saved her in fact, from the very life she couldn't even remember. He was the man that sent her away to a secluded boarding school in the mountains of Nepal when she was nine because he could no longer bear the bright blue eyes of her begging for love and affection that every child wanted. He was the man she didn't see again until she was graduating, with honors and at the top of her class. He was the man that would make her a killer of lesser men. He was the man that would make her more than any other Angelov had lived to be.

If Raymond Reddington was the Concierge of Crime, then Natasha Angelova was the Saint of it.


	2. One

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **Hello again there lovelies! There hasn't been much interest in this, which is rather upsetting but I realize my intro was rather lacking. So, I hope everyone enjoys the first chapter more than the previous one. And, just keep in mind that this is an origins story so the usuals aside from Red, won't be included until later, if that.

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**Russian Beauty / American Psycho**

**T****his feature is rated T, for obscene language and mild gore. But mostly the language.**

**DISCLAIMER: ****I own nothing but Natasha and Dimitri Angelov. Things that are unfamiliar and original in plot, also belong to me. Anything recognizable, does not but to its respective owners.**

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_People like to say that the conflict is between good and evil. The real conflict is between truth and lies._

_ Miguel Angel Ruiz_

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**One**

May 2, 2001

Natasha was quiet as she stood solemnly on the steps of her mountain top home. It was graduation day after many long years under the supervision of the strict monks that the academy belonged to. It was a very selective school and only the very best, and very rich sent their children here to be molded into greatness. If you thought of it that way, it really wasn't all that much of a home she concluded, just a roof she had spent a majority of her life under.

She wondered briefly then, why she was even there. She found that the older she became, the more this thought sat heavy on her chest. She watched the families below her as they socialized in the courtyard, it was clear that though they may be distant from each other, there was still pride and a reason for their heirs to be here and be taught so well. For her? There was none. She had no father and she had no mother. Not even the man that had sent her here nine years prior. He was as much of a ghost as her family was.

She should've felt pride today. She was the most talented student on the mountain. The monks had given her the prize of being top of her class and she had earned all the honors that were offered in the ranks of the school over the years. She had gone above and beyond all the get the attention of the man that had left her here. To rot, she thought now.

She hadn't honestly expected him to be here, on the mountain, on the most important day she had. She honestly didn't get all her hopes to high that her insides felt seized and crushed the longer she observed below. She obviously, after all these years, had a healthy understanding of what exactly to expect and not expect from the man in the hat. From the man that had saved her. From the man that wasn't her father but she wanted so much validation from. But, deep in her heart, in her soul, she had dreamt that maybe the man that had sent her to this place, would want to see what she had become because of it.

She took a deep breath, her crisp blue eyes closing momentarily as she sought to clear her mind of such distractions, just as the monks had taught her. She knew that all the teachings she had received over the years had told her to discard such petty things such as expectations of other people, because all they did was weigh down your soul. And Natasha's soul was already so heavy. So heavy with so much she didn't even understand. So heavy with origins that she would never know. It was sad really how all the ghosts in her life dragged her down until she was crawling on her knees through life.

"Natasha,"

The sudden sound of her name made her back stiffen immediately and her shoulders go back. Automatic reflexes that had been taught to her for so long that she didn't remember even how to turn them off. Her eyes directed quickly to the sound of the voice and her heart nearly stopped. Standing directly in front of her was a man. A very familiar man.

He was dressed in the finest suit she'd ever seen, in the darkest shade of gray with a smart pin stripe going through it, his shirt was a dark red with a lighter shade of gray tie knotted snugly around his neck. His eyes were hidden behind tan aviators as his dark hair shifted from the breeze, his face had this every calmness about him too, that made her envious. She never felt as calm as he looked. The monks always compared her to the ocean, rough and uneasy.

She honestly couldn't believe the man she was seeing in front of her. He barely even looked the same, but she knew it was him. She could feel it, be it some odd connection they had or just by the way he had approached her so easily. Either way, Raymond Reddington had finally come for Natasha Angelov and she didn't know how to feel about it.

"Reddington?" She asked in disbelief, her normal confident demeanor taking a backseat as her shock and excitement coursed through her veins. She never felt nervous, not once. She had learned to meditate that away her first year with the monks, but here it was. Back like a good friend.

"I've come to give you a job, Natasha."

A frown creased her normally relaxed face. A job? Why on earth would he be offering her a job? She was a child. A child he had felt no need to interact with over the last near decade. She had been of no use for him then, so why was she suddenly now? Her frown turned suspicious and her eyes narrowed as her thoughts took a turn.

_A shadow man never brought good deals._

"Why? I thought you wanted me to rot here." She snapped irritably, all the resentment towards the man that had saved her boiling to the surface in one quick instant.

"I left you here because I trusted that the monks would teach you well, Natasha. I did not leave you here to rot, as you say," Reddington sighed shaking his head. It wasn't her fault that she didn't understand the extent of his plan and the ends he had gone to, to make it be. But she would. Sooner or later, he was honestly hoping for the sooner. Raymond wasn't sure if he could handle a temperamental teenager.

"Sounds like _bullshit_ to me."

"I see that you're not as innocent as I remember you to be, Natasha. The monks have been good to you." He laughed with a shake of his head. The little Russian doll he remembered had certainly grown into a young lady that would make her ghost of a father proud. Her annoyed glare encouraged him to continue as he examined her discreetly with eyes hidden behind lenses.

She was nothing like he remembered her. Much taller, clearly, standing nearly a head below himself with her chocolate hair tied back at the nape of her neck with a blue ribbon matching the robes hanging on her tiny frame. Her nose had narrowed considerably during her pubescent years and had made her much more appeasing to the eye, with her full lips and almond eyes that were strictly narrowed on him.

And the Russian accent he remembered the tinier version of her having? Completely gone, which left him baffled. He never expected that annoying lisp he had listen to ramble on and on while he had tended to her, to ever disappear. _More blessings_, he thought sardonically to himself.

"I'd like you to come with me, Natasha. I have acquired quite the business while you've learned here and the thought has occurred to me that I do not have a proper right hand. I would like to offer this to you."

Her frown only deepened at this. He was surprised at her reaction. He expected some kind of excitement or joy coming from the young girl. Unbeknownst to her, he had been keeping tabs on her. Trading words with the monks on her progress every few months and to say the least, some part of him had been impressed with the raw talent coursing through her body or he wouldn't have come to this mountaintop in Nepal to recruit her to his cause. He wasn't a man to waste his time on useless causes.

"Why? I am a child to you." Natasha asked curiously, her light eyes looking on at her savior in rapt attention. She honestly didn't understand. She may have acquired many talents under the supervision here and had excelled at plenty of them, but it did not make her useful to any man such as the one in front of her. Especially when said man had left her there because she was a _child_. She'd never forget that very cruel reason he had given her when she was little and confused.

She didn't remember much of Raymond Reddington, but what she did remember, was that he had been a business man. Nothing that required her talents. And better yet, who even said she would want to help him huh? He was the one that had dumped her here with a hundred children she didn't know and thirty monks that didn't speak one word of Russian or English. He had literally put her in the middle of nowhere, with no one and nothing but a suitcase of clothes and a pat on the head. She had, had to learn Nepali, completely by herself at the age of nine. The monks had been impressed, she had been annoyed. Why didn't the entire world just know Russian? She remembered thinking, it would've made her life so much easier then.

"Yes, you are," He agreed with a nod of his head. "But, I can make you more than that. You have limitless potential, Natasha. Let me help you, help me." He finished with a quirk of his lips, finding himself to be quite clever. He knew she would accept his offer, just knew it. No one turned Raymond Reddington down.

Why was he so adamant to have her? She simply didn't understand. Over all the years, he hadn't alluded to ever having an interest in her or her so called potential. He hadn't even dealt with her all that much while she had remained under his direct care. He seemed more annoyed with her constant chattering and questions then anything, something she remembered strongly. It felt botched to her. Like some half assed afterthought he had when he realized how old she was. Maybe he felt like he owed her something for making shit of her childhood. Maybe he finally realized how terrible of a man it had made him to just suddenly send her to Nepal with no real rhyme or reason why.

Maybe mister Reddington wasn't just a business man anymore. Maybe her criminal roots weren't going to be for waste. And maybe Natasha wasn't just a little helpless Russian girl any longer.

"What exactly am I going to be getting out of this?"

Reddington laughed heartily at the young girl, humored by her quickness to greed. Barely even out of diapers and here she was trying to get her fair share out of him already. He had known she'd be handful when he had made his final decision, mere months prior, to take her on as his protégé and future right hand, perhaps he hadn't white realized just how much. "You'll get your fair share, Natasha. Anything you earn, is yours completely."

She nodded her head thoughtfully at him. She didn't quite understand all that this right hand business entailed, and she had a feeling that he wouldn't necessarily divulge all the details which did leave her unsettled. But, she knew that if he didn't take her off this mountain, than she'd never leave and well, Natasha didn't think she'd make a good spinster for he monks. So why not try this whole _right hand man_ thing out?

"I'm in." She only prayed that she wouldn't live to regret it.

"I had a feeling you'd like my offer." He smiled at her, it wasn't necessarily condescending the way he did it, but it still seemed smug to the young woman and left Natasha feeling uneasy. Perhaps that was a sign of what Raymond Reddington had become, nothing like the man she remembered. Nine years could do a lot to a person, Natasha knew that first hand. Neither of them were as they remembered.

When he had told her that he had acquired quite the business, Reddington hadn't been lying. He had accumulated such a power and wealth in the underworld, that he had his own private helicopter that took them from the mountaintop school to a runway that just happened to have his private jet. She didn't know whether she should be impressed or appalled with the sheer obnoxiousness of it.

But hey, Natasha wasn't going to turn down the sudden luxury being thrown into her life. The last nine years in Nepal? Yeah they hadn't been that furnished with well, much of anything. She had been lucky to have a blanket to sleep with during the winter. For such a expensive and exclusive school, they'd been real tight with all the amenities. Something to do with teaching the mind and body what it needed and what it wanted and the difference between the two. Natasha hadn't been too impressed with the practice at all.

When she had asked Reddington where exactly they were going on the helicopter ride, his answer had been short and not sweet – at all. It had been home. Which only made young Natasha frown with uncertainty. The only home she knew was the one she was flying away from with a man she barely even knew the longer she thought on it. If she had, had parents to teach her the whole_ stranger danger_ thing, this might've conflicted her further.

"Just enjoy the scenery, Natasha." He had told her strongly when she had tried asking him further questions. Her eyes had narrowed on the older man briefly that seemed completely unaffected with what - in her opinion - was her most intimidating look. She didn't know what exactly made her give up so instantly in that moment, but a part of her _knew_ that there were bigger battles with Raymond Reddington to be had in the future and this one just wasn't worth it. Best to save your breath, as the monks had taught her. She was impressed that it had finally stuck.

She decided, as she did exactly as he had told her and looked out to the overly green slops of mountains and trees beneath her; that she wouldn't be missing all this green nonsense that had been swallowing her for nearly a decade. There had to be other colors of scenery in the world and she was determined to see it all now that she was free. Or as free as she could be with whatever exactly Reddington was now, hovering over her shoulder.

"Now that you've learned to control yourself, Natasha, it is time to learn how to take care of yourself." Raymond commented suddenly from his seat beside her in his jet.

It was just herself, him and whatever pilot he had for the beast of a plane. She hadn't been paying much attention to anything since they had boarded, it was sensory overload in every sense of the word. It was her first time on a plane since God only knows when, and she was starting to remember just how ill it had made her. Not that she was going to complain, the memory of how dissatisfied he always had been when she was younger still at the forefront of her mind. She didn't figure annoying him so early would be beneficial for whatever business plan they had going on.

If she hadn't been dozing from motion sickness in the overly plush and reclining grey leather seat, she wouldn't have been so startled by his sudden intrusion into her thoughts. But she had been and she was, and nearly hit the ceiling in the process. It showed you just how zen she had become, she thought sardonically in an attempt to settle her nerves as she peered across at him, hoping for further elaboration.

"What are you even talking about?" She finally asked when his silence had begun to permeate the cabin. She wasn't sure if it was for some sort of dramatic effect of his part or some ploy to see her character, but she didn't care at the moment. Mind games weren't part of her itinerary today. She wanted straight forward answers and no bullshit. She was so used to the vague and discreet wisdom of the monks and her fellow classmates that she was completely over it. Even after all her time in that school, she still didn't understand why everything had to be hidden under layers and layers of metaphors and euphemisms. It was the biggest waste of her childhood honestly and had made dealing with the opposite sex so much more complicated than was really necessary.

"The world isn't as black and white as it is with the monks, Natasha. Before you can help me with my business, you have to learn about the gray area. It'll be the only place you live once you do."

Natasha frowned at him. Did he not understand the concept of elaborating? Or was he just being difficult on purpose she wondered.

She had to disagree with him though, the monks hadn't been all that black and white. As much as they had taught of good and bad, ying and yang and the right and wrongs of the balance of life, they had disclosed just as much of this gray area he spoke of. They had taught of karma and that often, bad things happen to good people but it didn't matter what happened to you, but what you let it make of you. Not that they had actually specified which way exactly you were supposed to go on those sort of things.

Now, Natasha wasn't too positive what Reddington wanted to become of her now with all this talk, but she had a sneaking suspicion that it wouldn't be the best of things.

"And that means we're going home?" It wasn't the best question she could've come up with, she'd admit that much but she wasn't sure what else to say. She knew he still thought of her as a child just by his brief statement and well, she kinda was in some ways she'd admit but she had also grown up with children of some of the most nefarious crime bosses and underworld criminals in the world. She wasn't nearly naïve as he expected.

"Well home is a matter of personal interpretation." Raymond replied with a smile. A very annoying smile that alluded to absolutely nothing and left Natasha feeling annoyed and uncomfortable. This business arrangement was becoming annoying very quickly for the young girl. If they really were going to be business partners as he was inferring, he was going to have to work on the whole sharing where we're going thing.

"Well for my own personal interpretation then, where are we going?" Natasha asked with a sigh as she leaned back further into her chair. Trying to fight back her motion sickness and her annoyance? Not going as smoothly as she'd like, one was about to win. She could feel it and not in a good way.

Raymond turned back to her and frowned, hearing the strain in the young girls voice. He hadn't been around her for long, but he had always been good at reading people and Natasha was no exception. He could tell she was annoyed with his antics and sick. He briefly remembered how ill she had gotten on the trip to mountain when she was young. Hadn't been pretty to say the least. He wasn't going to be happy if there was a repeat of events. He had just had the plane detailed and that did not come cheap. It was this reason that caused him to humor her, maybe a distraction would help. He hoped at least.

"America. We're going to America, Natasha." He replied with a tip of his head in her direction. He'd been to the states plenty of times since he'd more or less run away from the country. He expected this trip to be rather exciting and equally exhausting, he decided as he watched Natasha from the corner of his eye. She was a young woman after all, a young woman that hadn't been exposed to much of anything. He had a feeling she'd be nothing like Dembe had been the first time he had brought him to his native country. Untrusting and suspicious of everything he had laid eyes on.

Raymond Reddington doubted himself for that brief second as he considered that. In all honesty, when he had decided to take Natasha back in after so long, he had, had a misconceived idea that she'd be just as simple and willing as Dembe had been and so very easy to mold into the person be desired. But the longer he observed her, he realized she was anything but the pliable young man that was studying abroad. She should've been quiet and reserved after spending nine years with those humble monks, but she wasn't. She was a spitfire in the making. One he only hoped he'd be able to control in the fullest.

"You're going to try and make me American aren't you?" Natasha frowned with disgust, pushing back even more bile from the mere thought. There had been a boy at the school that was American. He was the most self entitled, arrogant son of a bitch she had seen. He'd been sent there when he was thirteen by his dirty politician of a father that was so fed up with him he just wanted him to disappear. Within a week, the entire faculty and student body had felt the same. Too bad the so called _humble_ monks were bigger money ponderers than they were of nobility and honesty. Natasha could remember deciding in that same week, that she never wanted to see America or deal with another American, let alone become one.

Never say _never_, right?


	3. Two

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **Hello again there lovelies! I'm quite enjoying the reviews I got on the last chapter, even if they were short winded haha a review is a review huh. :) Anyhow, here is the second chapter! Keep in mind that I only skimmed over it for errors, so there very well might be some. Also, I wanted to point out that the shift between Angelova and Angelov, is intentional. In russian, the sir name adds an 'a' when referring to a female so ya know, slightly accurate. Now! Without further adieu!

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**Russian Beauty / American Psycho**

**T****his feature is rated T, for obscene language and mild gore. But mostly the language.**

**DISCLAIMER: ****I own nothing but Natasha and Dimitri Angelov. Things that are unfamiliar and original in plot, also belong to me. Anything recognizable, does not but to its respective owners.**

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_I'm evil to the core_  
_What I shouldn't do I will_  
_They say I'm emotional_  
_What I want to save I'll kill_  
_Is that who I truly am?_  
_I truly don't have a chance_  
_Tomorrow I'll keep a beat_  
_And repeat yesterday's dance_

_Fairly Local by Twenty One Pilots_

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**Two**

New York

June 2, 2001

Natasha had been in the great country of America for one month. It was definitely a land of prosperity and opportunity she had decided very quickly, much to her chagrin. It was unlike anything she had ever seen. The buildings were tall, sparkling and multiple. The people were cultured and outnumbered only by the vehicles crammed onto the streets and the vermin at their feet.

Within her first week in the city she had come face to face with a rat that had been twice the size of her fist. Reddington had assured her that the only reason she had even seen it was because they had been on the subway. She hadn't been convinced then and now, nearly three weeks later still wasn't. Her eyes always suspiciously watching the ground and sewage drains for any suspicious furry things.

The air was always thick with a mixture of ocean air and residual build up of car exhaust. The one thing shed grown to miss, was fresh air. She was learning to distract herself from the pungent smell however, with people watching. It was something Reddington had suggested to her after one of her annoyed rants. She never ceased to complain to the man about just how much she hated America. Even though she _kinda_ didn't.

He had told her however, that people watching was going to be a crucial part of the point of being here to begin with. She needed to learn how to blend and observe. How to take on the persona of anyone in the world. She thought he sounded just nearly insane, but didn't complain against the whole _free reign_ thing. The entire city was at her beck and call and after spending nine years locked away on a mountain? She liked that. She was out all day and all night, only coming back to the somewhat hijacked apartment of Reddingon's at that awkward hour before night and morning.

Reddington didn't seem to care about the late hours the young adult kept either. His only request was that she be immediately available if he came to need her assistance. With what? He couldn't tell her, which perturbed Natasha deeply. Why should she be available for his beck and call? She wasn't his maid. Small blessings too because he was so damn picky with how clean everything was. She'd dropped her shoes at the front door once, just once and had gotten freaking eye daggers thrown at her until she picked them up. Did he even realize that it wasn't his apartment to even be particular about? Gosh.

But, she kept having to remind herself, she was his supposed _partner_. So beck and call it was and no shoes at the door.

As much time as Natasha spent away from Reddington and his commandeered space, she hadn't made many friends. Only _sources_, pieces of meat full of whatever information she was interested in. Not that she was really putting any effort into it. Any of it really. She'd always been antisocial at best, as much as she had tried to be social with the other students, it just never worked. She got over people and their little things very quickly. Making conversation and actually caring how someone was doing? Tedious to her in every single way. Once a person's newness wore off, she was no longer interested in keeping them around. It made Natasha seem like a cold-hearted bitch and maybe she was, but after growing up in the way she had, what else could you expect?

One of the monks had told her when she was younger that her internal compass was backwards. What was everyone else's south, was her north. She'd never be following the same direction as anyone else, in anything. She wasn't wired like that. She was _different_. The only thing she had gained from that observation from the older man, was that she was broken. _Disconnected_. She half blamed it on her lack of parental units and half blamed it on her unconventional savior of Raymond Reddington. Either way, Natasha Angelova did not make friends.

That's why, like every other night of the past month, Natasha was coming back to her home of sorts at four in the morning, solitary in every sense of the word. Most nights when she was making her entrance, the apartment was quiet. All the lights were off, aside from the one he always left on in the kitchen that would shine into the wide entry hall so she could see. She would always note the kind gesture of the man she still wasn't sure of with a frown before entering the kitchen and looting around for whatever food the kitchen was stocked with. Seeing every part of the city that you could possibly see, left a young girl quite famished.

Tonight, however, was different from every other night. Instead of finding an empty kitchen, Natasha found her rather absent business partner perched on a barstool. What she assumed was paperwork was scattered on the grey marble countertop in front of him along with a half empty wine glass and a pen in hand. He looked like he was concentrating and she had half a mind to just go straight upstairs to her room. But she hadn't seen him for a week or so and found herself stepping further into the kitchen with a yawn. Not even bothering to see if he was acknowledging her or not, she made a straight beeline to the fridge. There was a carton of strawberries with her name on them.

Another thing she loved about America, she didn't have to eat or do anything with restrictions.

"Hello, Natasha. How was your evening hmm?" Raymond asked with a cursory glance in her direction as his pen stilled. She couldn't tell just how much attention he was giving her, by the way his eyes moved over the paper in front of him but, like most times, Natasha didn't really care. Especially with her strawberries. Heaven in a fruit if you asked her.

"Oh, I'm just peachy!" Natasha replied with a roll of her eyes, feigning enthusiasm. "Why're you up so late?"

"Are you trying to infer something, Natasha?" He asked, raising his eyes to meet hers. She noticed a comical glint in his light eyes and almost couldn't believe it. Since the moment they'd gotten to New York, he hadn't been anything but serious in whatever encounter they'd had. She wasn't even sure he had a sense of humor. Well, she still wasn't, but it was up for debate perhaps.

Raising an eyebrow at him she leaned against the counter and took a bite out of one of her strawberries, sighing happily for only a split second, she returned to the task at hand. "No. Just curious. I didn't think you knew how to stay up past nine, honestly." She laughed lightly at the end, feeling rather proud of herself at his slight frown in her direction. He didn't seem offended per say, maybe surprised? With himself or her, she wasn't too positive on that one. With the small amount of time she had spent with him so far, she was finding it was harder and harder to read Raymond Reddington.

"It's rather sad when you've become so predictable that the woman you live with and barely see, knows your schedule better than yourself isn't it?" He hummed to himself as he sat his pen down on the counter and picked up his wine glass, swishing the Crimson liquid that was inside of it around. He looked thoughtful as he stared down into the glass. Almost philosophical.

"You said it, I didn't."

Raymond laughed, it wasn't a forced laugh but Natasha could still tell that he wasn't entirely humored by her short statement. That he was just putting on a show. A man of many faces, she supposed. From what she had learned on the streets from the few rather shady people she'd conversed with, he was a man of many words and many brutalities. You didn't fuck with Raymond Reddington and he didn't fuck with you. He was the man that could disappear into a crowd and destroy an entire country with a raise of his brow. He was a puppet master she was coming to learn. Not surprised in the least, Natasha was trying to take it in stride. She didn't know how credible her sources were, hell they were sources she had gained in a short month with little to no effort. So in some way, she knew they weren't credible at all, but still.

She was still patting herself on the back for even getting anything out of _anyone_. The shadiest person she had dealt with in her life had been the African boy at the school, and that was a bad pun all in itself. But, once she got out on those streets and in the right places? It's like she couldn't even control herself, it all came so naturally here. She could sidle up to just about anyone to get a few details that she wanted, something that had normally been a feat all in itself.

"Do you think I could ask a favor of you, Natasha?" Reddington suddenly asked, his wine glass back in its original position and quite the serious look on his face. Natasha was startled, if only slightly, by the sudden switch of the conversation and immediately chided herself for it. He was a business man as he said, and any business man she had met in her short life had switched topics like channels on a television. Quickly and without effort. It must be part of the whole selling your soul to the devil to be successful bit, she concluded.

Sighing with a close of her eyes, she nodded her head at Reddington. If only silently praying that she wouldn't live to regret it. But it's not like she could honestly turn him down without the potential of being kicked out on the American streets just outside and as _talented_ she was finding herself to be on those streets, she didn't like the idea. Not one bit.

"There's someone I need you to become friends with. A infiltrate their lives sort of situation really," He began with a straight face, immediately gaining an intimidating eye contact with her the moment her eyes opened. A chill went down her spine, he could be quite intimidating when he wanted to be she supposed. It stirred something in the young woman that she quickly pushed aside. She needed to focus.

_Focus, Natasha._

"I'm not really good at the whole friends thing, Reddington." She admitted blandly. Her eyes never strayed from his, the longer she stared, the more she felt like this was a mines bigger than yours contest going on between them. She wasn't backing down.

Shaking his head, Reddington sighed at the young woman before him. Trying to act like some big shit that she wasn't quite yet. He knew she could be and would be at some point in the foreseeable future, but right now? She certainly wasn't. He was still the master. He had plans for Natasha, lots of plans and she needed to know who was boss for any of these plans to work out for him. Sure, she could come and go as she pleased. Do whatever made the little Russians heart happy, but when it came to things he wanted her to do, to further his own great scheme? She was doing them. No questions asked. He knew she understood this on some level. She'd been as complaint as an Angelov would be with any instruction he had given, even now. But, he could still see the distrust and the hesitation shining in her light eyes. Raymond knew that he'd have to gain her trust the old fashion way, she wasn't easily scared but he didn't have time for that now. The only reason he had brought her to New York was already at hand and needed to be tended to. She needed to make friends with the young woman and quickly. He had no other way to keep track of her at present aside from Natasha and he wasn't going to let that opportunity slip through his fingers.

"Her name is Elizabeth Scott. She's just graduated high school and come to New York, so she's your age. She's solitary, not many friends. She'll be easy for you to approach, eager to be friends with someone so similar to her and in a new place. She'll be hard to infiltrate at first, but you will. You will tell me everything she does, everyone she talks to and about. If it concerns her, you will alert me to it. Do you understand?"

Natasha frowned at him. She didn't understand in the slightest. What would Raymond Reddington want to do with another girl his age? Did he have a fetish? Was he building some freaky female army? She was so utterly confused by him and any motives he had and it sounded like he didn't even need her to get close to the girl. Sounded like he already knew an awful lot about her so it's not like she'd be helping really. Aside from any new information. But it seemed like he had a handle on that too.

"I really don't." She admitted softly, almost afraid to say it out loud. But, she knew that he expected her to do this for him. She could see it in his eyes, the way they wouldn't disconnect with her. The way they were trying to force the idea into her head, like it was her very own. It made her uncomfortable and fidgety, but she tried to still herself. She wasn't supposed to crack under pressure. She was trained better than this. Shit, even before she'd been trained for it, she'd been better. She needed to settle herself. She needed to not think and just listen.

"She is the daughter of a friend or more of an acquaintance, really. She may or may not know things and come to learn them. I need an eye on her at present, Natasha. You're the only one that can help me. I _trust_ you to do this for me." Raymond told her firmly. He wasn't even sure why he had told her the last part, maybe to make her more accepting of the idea. Maybe because some part of him did trust the little Russian doll he had saved. He really wasn't too sure of his motives in that brief second. But, he did note the way her pale blue eyes lit up at the mere word like it was a form of currency being traded between them.

Her heart stopped nearly at the mere mention of _trust_. A five letter word that had always meant so much to her. She could honestly say that she'd only trusted not even a handful of people in her life. She'd learned early on with the very man in front of her that trust was something easily betrayed and hard to earn.

She didn't remember much of anything from her childhood aside from Reddington saving her. But she did remember a blurry image of a man prattling on in eloquent Russian about trust and how as his daughter, it would be hard to come by and something to hold on to tightly. It was something that was always so far out of her reach. Considering her less than desirable social skills and talent for acquiring close relationships with people, it came rarely. She remembered trusting Raymond when she was little. She thought he was her savior, her very own superhero. But just as quickly as he had gained it from her tinier self, he had lost it and left her feeling more confused than any nine year old should. Then here he was trying to say that he trusted her? Wasn't that a bunch of bullshit if she ever saw some.

She wanted to trust him, or some part of her did. He'd been good to her in the past month, she couldn't deny that fact. But he'd been good to her for an entire year before growing tired of her the time before so she couldn't bring herself to even try. What if he got tired of her again? It'd be worse this time. She was older, an adult in most definitions of the word. She knew she could handle the world – if just barely, but she didn't want to by herself. Natasha didn't want to admit just how sheltered she'd been growing up, but she had been and most of the world was rather intimidating to her. She wasn't ready for that. Not a single part of her was, not even the part that considered herself to be so solitary in the world.

With a single breath, Natasha quickly decided that whatever reasons he had for wanting information on this stranger of a girl and using that five letter with her; she didn't care. She cared about this business deal that was conspicuously going on between them and making it last for the foreseeable future. Or as long as it took for her to figure herself and this new world out.

"So how exactly is this thing gonna work?" Natasha asked finally with a deep breath trying to calm the sudden nerves chewing at her insides. She could handle this. Getting information was turning out to be one of her talents, so it's not like it was going to be hard.

_Right, just keep telling yourself that._

"Is that a yes I hear?" He asked with a smile that pulled his lips back and showed off his pearly white teeth. Natasha wouldn't admit it, but it almost made him seem more predatory. She didn't like it. But the young woman opposite what was turning out to be a goddamn monster was desperate to keep her cool in front of him. Constantly reciting the wise words of the monks to herself and nodding her head at his question.

"I already have an alias set up for you, Natasha. Along with an enrollment alongside Elizabeth at NYU, just in case it happens to carry on that long. An apartment in Soho has been leased in your new name and a bank account. Anything you need, I'll happily provide as long as I get the information I need." He informed her slowly, as if he could smell the sudden unease on her. She wouldn't have been surprised if her could honestly. Natasha actually found herself rather impressed with the efficiency of Reddington and his confidence in her accepting his proposal. He truly was a conceited man, she was quickly deciding the longer she was in his presence.

"If you're successful here, after we wrap up, we'll be going to the UK. Plenty of things to still teach you, Natasha."

"Like what?" She found herself asking him with earnest curiosity, letting herself get distracted from his off handed skepticism in her. She'd always been interested in Europe, from what she'd read in the history books, it was quite the beautiful country. Not nearly as free and opportunity filled as America she was quite sure of now that she was here, but it'd offer more familiarity than New York did at the present. She had a niggling of a feeling too, that after this _job_ of hers, that's just what she'd want.

"Oh I can't spoil the surprise, Natasha!" He laughed happily at her as he scooped up all his paperwork in one hand and his wineglass in the other and stood in one fluid motion. Earning only a frown from his young companion as he moved to leave the kitchen and retire for the evening. Natasha had been right; staying up this early just wasn't for him.

"When I get whatever it is you want from this girl, you have to promise that you're going to tell me more. I don't think it's fair that you call me your business partner and promise me all these things in this company of yours and then tell me absolutely nothing." Natasha said firmly just as he passed her. She had so much resolve in her voice that it stilled Raymond and brought a smirk to his lips.

Her true colors were beginning to show through more and more. He noticed how they seemed to fade every so often, he wasn't sure what cause it but he was always happily surprised when they were brought back to his full attention. It made young Natasha incredibly attractive to him. He had to keep reminding himself that she was the same age as his _own_ daughter and no, not right at all.

"Anything you say, Natasha." Raymond said with a soft chuckle. "I'll be seeing you in a few hours hmm? Lots of things to get moving."

Natasha did not like the way that sounded at all; it left a lot to be desired, which wasn't really anything new when it came to him. It left a nasty taste in her mouth too. She didn't have any idea at all what exactly she had just gotten herself into. Which perhaps was a new trend she had going with Reddington, he had a knack for getting her to sign the dotted long without much question it seemed.

Well it looked like Natasha was going to be getting a new friend. She really was hoping Elizabeth Scott wasn't the least bit annoying.


	4. Three

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **Hello there dolls! Long time no see huh? I hope all my new readers enjoy this new chapter! You're the reason I keep on writing, the enjoyment of others is quite the gift. Just remember, minimal editing is done before I post, so mistakes are bound to be below but enjoy either way huh?

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**Russian Beauty / American Psycho**

**T****his feature is rated T, for obscene language and mild gore. But mostly the language.**

**DISCLAIMER: ****I own nothing but Natasha and Dimitri Angelov. Things that are unfamiliar and original in plot, also belong to me. Anything recognizable, does not but to its respective owners.**

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_They left us alone,_  
_The Kids In The Dark,_  
_To burn out forever,_  
_Or light up a spark,_  
_We come together,_  
_State of the art,_  
_We'll never surrender,_  
_The kids in the dark,_  
_So let the world sing,_  
_"What a shame,_  
_What a shame,_  
_Beautiful scars,_  
_On critical veins, "_  
_Come together,_  
_State of the art,_  
_We'll never surrender,_  
_The Kids in the dark_

_Kids In The Dark by All Time Low_

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**THREE**

_New York_

_June 9, 2001_

It was the first rainy day she had seen since arriving in New York. She was hoping that it wasn't a sign of what was to come. It certainly didn't leave a warm feeling with her either way. Raymond had consistently insisted for the past week that today was the day. Today was the day she was to '_coincidentally'_ meet one miss Elizabeth Scott.

She'd been briefed consistently on her for the last five days. She knew her name, her fathers name, where she grew up and why she was running away to New York. She knew of her very similar lack of biological family. Yet, in all the files she hadn't seen a mention of her _actual_ father. Natasha had noted briefly before being distracted with other facts of her peer, that it was suspicious the way all information on her biological family was missing. Like they had trimmed away the fat and only left the details that weren't vulnerable. She didn't like it. It led her to believe that Raymond wasn't being as honest with her as he was trying to lead her to believe. He had turned over some new leaf with her since she had accepted his proposal. She felt it wasn't all that genuine at times, this being one of them. But as Luli – Raymond's very odd and demure Asian friend and business acquaintance – had told her; it really wasn't any of her goddamn business. Suffice to say, Luli and Natasha? No love lost there.

Raymond had set her up in an apartment in Soho, true to his word. Or sorta…

Well, it really wasn't so much an apartment as a loft. Living room, kitchen and bedroom all in one giant open space and then a bathroom with a shitty shower, sink and squatty little toilet in the corner. Suffice to say, Natasha hadn't been impressed when she was dropped off. With the type of upscale duplex he'd hijacked for himself, she figured she would've at least had something a little better. But, the plush king sized bed hidden behind the red and gold paper Asian room divider? Yeah, she could live with it.

Along with the suitcase of clothes she had acquired since arriving in New York, Raymond had given her a cellphone. Tiny little black square that flipped open with only his number on speed dial. To call if she needed anything or knew anything new about this Elizabeth girl. The amount of interest he was increasingly showing about this soon to be friend of hers, unsettled her. Natasha hadn't grown up in this city or this country, but she had a pretty good grasp on the proper interest a man should have in a girl her age. And his interest in Elizabeth? Bordering on creepy. Even for her.

But if living on that mountain for so long had taught her anything it was don't bite the hand that was feeding you. He'd been good to her since he had suddenly stepped back into her life. Letting her indulge in just about everything any wholesome eighteen year old would in the city without even a bat of an eye. So she wouldn't push him on the matter. Yet.

"Natasha, were you even listening?" Blinking at the sudden obtrusion to her thoughts, she looked to her side where Luli was impatiently watching her from the corner of her eyes as they walked. The older woman had no patience for her new younger counterpart. Luli saw no potential in Natasha. She was a waste of time and space, something she had repeatedly told Raymond ten years ago. She thought he had listened, but here the little Russian was back again.

"The rain sucks." Was Natasha's muttered response as she pulled the hood of her light jacket closer around her face. Luli was holding the umbrella and it was big enough to cover the two of them, but was the Asian being gracious? No. So Natasha was borderline soaked.

"Your name is Amber Campbell. You're from Chicago –"

"I know, Luli," Natasha frowned cutting the woman off. She couldn't believe how stupid Luli thought she was. Just because she didn't listen one hundred percent of the time, didn't mean she didn't know what she was supposed to be doing. She knew her new alias, frontwards and backwards actually and she could handle it. She didn't know how she was going to handle faking the actual enthusiasm that was going to be needed to really get this Elizabeth character baited but, she figured it would come to her. Well, she hoped it would anyways.

Narrowing her eyes on Natasha, Luli stopped suddenly and snatched the younger girls wrist tightly in her own. A look that would intimidate the strongest of men was etched on her face. By the pursed lips on Natasha's face, Luli couldn't tell if she was successful or not but continued forward with her intimidation. "You don't screw this up, Natasha do you understand me? For some _idiotic_ reason, Raymond trusts you. I don't think you can handle this, anyone would be better but you. But we're short on options right now, so it's you, for now."

"What an amazing pep talk, Luli. Thanks." Natasha spat, snatching her wrist right out of Luli's tight grasp. She absolutely couldn't wait to be rid of her. She'd heard her talking to Raymond about going back to Asia for some of his business soon and she couldn't be happier to hear it.

Natasha knew she was just a kid. A kid that has been raised in what was basically just a glorified kids home. She knew she wasn't the best candidate for much of anything right now. All she knew was what the monks had taught her and quite frankly, none of it had been all that practical. She would admit she'd learned a lot since she came to America though. She could blend in easily enough into the shadows on the more sketchy streets of New York and she could lure most of the murky people into giving her just about any information about the streets.

She didn't know for sure if she could become an entirely new person – when she wasn't even eighty percent sure who she was – but she was damn ready and eager to try. It was a step in a new direction for Natasha, she wanted a future and she wanted stability. She didn't know if doing this one job for Red would lead to any of that for sure, but it was a start. And she damn sure wasn't letting any pre-menopause stricken woman ruin that for her.

"Natasha-"

"My name is Amber." Luli narrowed her eyes on Natasha as the younger girl gave her a pointed look that nearly rivaled her own before disappearing into the revolving doors of the library Elizabeth was supposed to be inside of.

Natasha didn't spare the older woman a backwards glance as she steeped into the library. Considering the weather outside, she couldn't say she was surprised by the pretty good size crowd of people milling about. It was fairly quiet considering the amount of people and she wasn't sure why it left her so unsettled. But, after a final cursory glance to the front foyer of the building she decided to keep moving. Elizabeth was in here somewhere.

Let's hope this wasn't going to be awkward.

Why was she even supposed to be in this stupid library anyways? Natasha couldn't help but find herself wondering as she wandered up and down the aisle and aisles of books. She loved reading just as the next person and had actually spent a lot of time with the monks in their own library but that was before she had seen the world. Why be cooped up in here when you could be out _there_? Even if it was raining. The question left her regretting taking this endeavor on more and more.

Then, to her left, in the far corner of second level of the library, hidden off in the corner was a table. Sitting at the table, all by her lonesome was what appeared to be one Elizabeth Scott. She looked just as out of place as Natasha felt. She looked just like the pictures that had been paper clipped to her file. Dark brown, shoulder length hair and a set of blue eyes that swept the room in distrust every other beat of her heart. Talk about a girl after her own heart.

Taking only the same time as it took to take a breath to decide how to approach her, she quickly snatched the nearest book off of a shelf and slowly began making her way over to her. Probably best not to appear to eager in this situation.

Clearing her throat awkwardly once she was within an arms reach of the table, she smiled awkwardly down at Elizabeth. "Do you, uh, mind..? You're like the least creepy looking person here." Natasha laughed as she watched what little defenses she had up fall from her eyes like butter. Maybe this wouldn't be so hard after all..

"Go ahead. Good to hear I'm not creepy." Elizabeth laughed as Natasha took the seat across from her. Elizabeth didn't normally welcome strangers so quickly, but coming to New York was for new pages, that's what the young American kept telling herself anyways.

"I'm Amber." Natasha supplied with a genuine smile as she put her hand out to her across the table. It was funny, here she had thought she was going to have a hard time feigning interest in her and now that she was actually face to face with her, it wasn't that hard after all. She genuinely wanted to know now why Red was so keen on her. Natasha wondered if there was something so similar between them that made them both of interest to him.

"Liz." She replied, extending her own hand across the table with ease. "You're not a New Yorker either, huh?"

Natasha's face creased slightly in a frown. Was she that obvious? She hadn't meant to be. She'd been trying to absorb as much American culture as she could the last week to blend better. She had been like a _goddamn_ sponge okay. Red had claimed it had worked the night before, that she was barely even discernible from any other eighteen year old in the country. She won,sent say it too boldly, but she was pretty sure that he had looked proud. Natasha had been quite happy with herself too, much to Lila's charging over the matter. Maybe that's why she had been so happy.

Elizabeth noticed the unease on her companions face and quickly folded her hands in her lap, dropping her gaze back to the book in front of her. She hadn't meant to offend her and Natasha knew she hadn't but she couldn't help the gnawing feeling in her gut. She could already see the end when she hadn't even begun yet. Curse the monks and their teachings of forethought, Natasha thought bitterly.

"I'm from Baltimore." Elisabeth supplied unsurely as she looked to Natasha who still had the funniest look on her delicate features.

Natasha only continued to frown across at the girl. Did Americans not understand the whole stranger danger thing either? Did they go around giving away important details as she did her life and trust? If that was the case with the more law abiding citizens, then Natasha had this thing in the hole.

She almost began to feel bad about her more nefarious reasons for approaching Elizabeth as a warm and inviting smile dances across her face. Elizabeth actually seemed rather nice the longer she sat there with her. Natasha knew just sitting and awkwardly staring at her wasn't necessarily the best way to ascertain someone's character but she couldn't help it. Her nerves were suddenly on edge as she struggled to remember every detail of her new alias; all the tiny details that she had known frontwards and back fifty seconds ago.

Why had she rushed over here again? Why hadn't she just taken her time? Just milled about and waited for the absolute coincidence that Elizabeth might've come to her? Why hadn't she let Lila repeat everything to her at least once more? Why had she been so goddamn cocky? She wasn't cocky dammit!

Why? Why was she even here again?

"Are you alright?"

_Why_?

"Ummm… Chicago. I'm from Chicago." Natasha finally muttered out, her eyes dropping immediately as if she was still unsure of her answer. That's what the file had said right? Chicago? Far enough away to be legitimate but not too far to seem unrealistic. Yes, that's what Reddington had said.

"Oh cool! I almost went there instead," Liz laughed. "Gotta get away from your family right?"

Getting away from your family? Yeah, she'd gotten that prize of freedom at a young age. They both had according to her file. So why exactly was she acting like she hadn't..? Was she just being aloof because Natasha was a stranger? Or was she a test set up by Reddington? She didn't know where the idea had spring from, but once she had it, she couldn't drop it.

What if he really was just setting her up? Either to see her fail or to succeed, she wasn't sure. But, it really was a logical idea. He had sprung the idea on he pretty suddenly. And everything was planned so precisely. Perhaps this was his way of seeing if she was really worth any more time, if she had whatever potential he thought she did. She couldn't help but be annoyed by the thought either, he was treating her like some child! Like she didn't know better, like she couldn't handle herself. Why did she even think she could trust him? He'd betrayed her before, he'd betrayed a child before. So who said he couldn't betray her again as an adult?

"Uh, Amber?" A tentative voice asked, eyebrows raised and a look of confusion on her young face. Well damn, she was really sucking at this wasn't she?

"Yeah, yeah, sorry," Natasha laughed shaking her head. "Just got lost, ya know?"

"Oh, I didn't mean-"

"You're fine, Liz."

She didn't want to have to fake happiness over a _family_ she had in Chicago. She didn't want to let herself think about Red betraying her either. Both thoughts left a bitter aftertaste in her mouth akin to bile. She needed to focus. Liz was the task at hand, be she a set up or otherwise she didn't know. But, she wasn't going to fail either way. She was positive of it.

"What brings you to New York huh?" Liz asked with interest as she idly turned the pages of the book in front of her. Natasha couldn't quite figure out what the book was but tried not to let her more curious nature obsess over some thing so meaningless when she had other matters to worry over.

Natasha could tell how much she was trying to engage her the more she closed up. She wasn't sure if she should contribute that to being desperate for friendship or something else… She really did suck at personable interactions she decided. She was going to have to work on that. Now, what was her answer supposed to be again?

College. Her answer was supposed to include college. Luli had created this long and elaborate story for her to tell Elizabeth. Had said that the more complicated the lie, the more believable it was. Natasha somehow doubted the older woman's knowledge. All the lying she had ever done in her life, she had kept the details short and sweet. Easier to keep track of, she had always thought and it had worked too. She'd gotten away with plenty of late night library trysts on that mountain, not at all exciting but still. She'd wiggled her way out of plenty of true accusations too. She hadn't been the easiest teenager to placate, as her fellow classmates had been. She'd always wanted _more_. She'd never been too sure of what that more was until Reddington had showed up in her life again and brought her here.

So, basically, she didn't fancy the idea of listening to Luli all that much.

"Oh, NYU. It wasn't my first choice, but I like the city so far." Natasha finally shrugged, forcing whatever nervousness forming in her belly to quell. She wasn't a little girl trying to lie her way into extra bread at supper time. She wasn't even going to bother admitting to herself that, that wasn't one of her finer moments.

"Oh! Me too," Liz laughed. "Have you decided on a major yet? I haven't yet. My dad insists I need to before the semester starts." Natasha noticed how put off she seemed to be at the last part. Guess she had similar daddy issues then.

"Nah, too lazy. My old man thinks I'd be good in psychology though. See how that works out, maybe." Natasha answered with a small smile, lying with so much ease she could taste the bitterness on her tongue.

The_ old man_ she was referring to however, was the monk that had taken her under his wing at the school. She'd been too unruly and hard to understand when she first got onto that mountain, but he hadn't cared. Had told her time and time again that she needed to harness her soul, her inner power. She could be so much if she did, he had told her over and over. He said that she was blessed by the divine power, that she could read people like a book. Maybe that was why she was always in the library, she remembered him teasing her. He'd been discommunicated from the school and the religion of the monks not too long before she turned fifteen.

Now that she was actually thinking about the monk she'd pushes to the far corners of her mind, she couldn't help but wonder two things; had he been right about her? And where he was now? He'd been the only father figure she'd ever known and the thought made her heart pang in grief before Liz was tearing her attention back to her.

"Oh! That sounds interesting. Your dad sounds cool." Pretending she actually cared about the girl in front of her? _Easy_. Pretending like she had a fully functioning family waiting for her in some Windy City? Not so much.

"_So_ cool." Natasha said more to herself than anything, sarcasm leaking into her words. The only man she'd idolized at that godforsaken school had been so cool he'd been dragged kicking and screaming from the mountain. She didn't like to think about how cool he'd been. Natasha had stopped even trying to fit in with her fellow youth at that time. She was the student of the crazy monk, so who even cared about Natasha Angelova right?

"You wanna go find some food..?" Liz asked suddenly, when Natasha looked back up to the girl she immediately noticed her slightly widened eyes. Was she nervous? "I know we just met, but I had like the hardest time even finding this place. So you up for it or what?"

Natasha raised an eyebrow at Liz and smiled slightly, she was nervous about her. Now wasn't that just the cutest thing. Here she was stressing over how to deal with her and coax her into a friendship when she was nervous herself. She'd been pretty positive she was turning the girl off to her pretty quickly, but maybe Natasha had been wrong. But maybe, birds of a feather just flocked together ya know.

"Food sounds good. Think I saw some sort of Chinese place a few blocks over," Natasha supplied and immediately Liz's shoulders relaxed, giving Natasha an easy smile of her own.

"Oh! Egg rolls sound _amazing_!" Liz grinned with so much enthusiasm Natasha thought her face was going to split in two. Finally, some one who was eagerly enthusiastic as she was over food, she thought happily before pausing.

Natasha didn't let her happy face change even the slightest, but her body tensed as she realized the kinship she was beginning to feel towards the American stranger she was supposed to be infiltrating, not actually befriending. She wasn't supposed to genuinely like her dammit. Luli had actually demanded as such during their extensive briefings on the girl. Something about not being capable of rational decisions if you were overly attached to a target. She didn't really understand the sentiment behind Luli's guiding words, but she didn't feel like finding out.

Natasha had felt careless just leaving the books they'd had at the table as they quickly dispersed with just a not to the other in agreement, but found herself caring less at the dirty look the librarian gave them as they passed. She'd acted like they were causing a ruckus or something. Freaking sour puss, Natasha concluded to herself silently as the two of them paused at the revolving doors.

It was still raining outside, they both noticed with frowns. It want as terrible as it had been when Natasha had been on the street earlier with Luli, but it was still rain and Natasha still wasn't fond of it or getting wet. _Again_.

"We can make a run for it," Liz suggested suddenly with a grin so big it had Natasha frowning all that much more. Natasha took a deep breath at the sudden suggestion, feeling like Elizabeth was going to end up being more of a handful than she was. _Happy happy, joy joy_, she thought to herself sarcastically as she noticed Elizabeth preparing for the mad dash. Did she not realize it was blocks for fucks sake?!

Elizabeth laughed a heartbeat later, not even leaving time for Natasha to react as she grabbed a hold of Natasha's hand and towed her behind her through the revolving door and out into the rain. Natasha sputtered as she was immediately soaked again, right down to the bone. Somehow, the rain seemed colder as the two of them splashed down the sidewalk. The lucky people with umbrellas in front of them, moved out of their way as quickly as they could as Natasha struggled to keep up with Liz. The only coherent thought in Natasha's mind as she ran was if this girl was on freaking crack!

"I have a feeling this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship," Liz commented loudly through the rain, grinning over her shoulder at Natasha with a pair of bright blue eyes, adrenaline clearly pumping through the teens body. Liz was certainly thrilled over their sprint in the rain and Natasha? Natasha could only force herself to smile in response as she continually mentally cursed herself.

She'd looked so damn innocent in her file! Like she'd be easy and boring and calm, most of all _calm_. She hadn't planned on being pulled around the wet goddamn city by the American teen! It definitely wasn't on her top ten of anything okay. Natasha certainly felt deceived, she decided quickly as Elizabeth picked up the pace, the bright neon sign of the Chinese restaurant she'd noticed with Luli flashing just feet ahead. _Thank god_.

What had Raymond fucking Reddington gotten her into this time?


	5. Four

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **Hello there! Heres another chapter; hope everyone enjoys! Thank you to everyone that has left reviews, they make me happy! :)

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**Russian Beauty / American Psycho**

**T****his feature is rated T, for obscene language and mild gore. But mostly the language.**

**DISCLAIMER: ****I own nothing but Natasha and Dimitri Angelov. Things that are unfamiliar and original in plot, also belong to me. Anything recognizable, does not but to its respective owners.**

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_This is gospel for the vagabonds,_  
_Ne'er-do-wells and insufferable bastards_  
_Confessing their apostasies_  
_Led away by imperfect impostors_

_Panic! At the Disco_

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**Four**

**July 31, 2001**

It'd been a month and a half nearly since she took on Elizabeth as whatever exactly she was to her. Elizabeth called her a friend and to the girls face, she did too. Natasha hadn't ever really had any friends, so she was suspicious of the very thought. Especially in the moments when her patience would wain with the thrill seeking, bar hopping, bill skipping teenage lunatic currently passed out on her couch.

Natasha wondered sometimes if she herself was supposed to be so out of control. In a brief call to update Reddington on the girl in the first week, she had asked him that very thing. His laughing response hadn't necessarily answered her question, but she had accepted the whole 'you're different, Natasha' and carried on.

Speaking of Raymond, she sent a conspiratory glance to the black square on her kitchen counter and frowned. He'd left a creepy voicemail from some creepy pizza place demanding that she call him immediately. Hadn't said why, or even that it was him and it was an emergency. What kind of emergency could he even have? She was barely involved in whatever criminal business he may or may not run. Shit, Natasha figured she was in more danger trying to keep up with Liz than she was in Red's circle of fire.

With a quick glance to the oversized clock hanging on the wall over her television, she decided now was as good of time as any to figure out what the hell was going on with Red. Especially when her friend had just passed out maybe an hour before from her consumption of overly alcoholic and fruity drinks. She clearly wasn't Russian, Natasha had decided their first night drinking, she couldn't hold her alcohol for shit. Which basically boiled down to Natasha being her body guard on their very frequent nights out. Natasha didn't know what exactly Elizabeth was running from, but she damn sure hoped it never caught up with them.

Natasha strode quickly over to the counter and scooped the tiny square into her hand before making a beeline to the other side of the loft, to the bathroom. It was the only damn place in her open square of a home that was private, it unnerved her to no end, but that didn't mean to didn't use it to her full advantage for her talks with her family. Elizabeth had asked one night after she unceremoniously moved herself into Natasha's loft, who she ran off to talk to in the bathroom all the time. First thing that came to mind? Her family and boy had that one been a mistake. She'd endured an entire week of questions about her so called family. Wasn't making that mistake again.

Natasha stepped into the five by five bathroom with a frown, Elizabeth had taken over yet another space. It was like she was taking over poor Natasha's life and Natasha didn't know how to stop it. Not that she could, a voice always reminded her. This was her job, she was getting paid after all. Reddington made sure she had anything and everything she needed over the past month or so. She had a bank account under this Amber's name and only had to leave a voicemail on one of his phones about a doctors appointment to get more added to the account. If she really wasn't happy with her situation, she would've been stashing the money away. But was the young Russian girl? No. She just wasn't too sure what to do with all Elizabeth's stuff.

Natasha shook her head as she closed the considerably thick bathroom door behind her and turned the little lock on the door knob, definitely wasn't the best line of defense but it did the job of keeping nosey little Liz out there. She flipped open the phone and punched the tiny little one on the keypad before bringing the phone to her ear and plopping down on the closed toilet with a sigh.

She figured she'd come pretty far since she'd come to America. Before she could barely even figure out this goddamn phone – not that she admitted it to anyone – and now look at her, your regular American angsty teen. Still not as bad as Elizabeth, mind you but still. She was blending and Natasha was proud of herself.

This entire thing was going far better than she expected, even if her new little friend was quite the handful and hadn't to give up any information she really deemed useful. Natasha still hadn't quite figured out why Red was so interested in Elizabeth Scott but, she didn't have much time to dwell on that question to be honest.

"Peppy Piper's Pizza, what can I do for ya?" The once unfamiliar voice asked on the other end of the phone, stirring Natasha from her thoughts. She honestly didn't understand why the fuck Raymond insisted on whatever the hell cover that was supposed to be, but smiled none the less. It was the only normal thing she had to look forward to every week and she wasn't admitting it to anyone, but it'd actually rather grown on her. Much like the hungover little American dozing just outside. Still wasn't admitting it though.

"Whet kind of Red sauce do you have?" Natasha asked the usual question with a quirk of her brow. She always felt silly asking that damn question, like it was some kind of joke and she supposed it was in a way but still. She figured she'd never get used to the damn code Raymond thought protected all of them.

"Hello, Natasha," Reddington greeted stiffly causing Natasha to pause. He sounded stressed and even though she had only seen him stressed once and that was when she was a child, she had an aching feeling in her gut that it was something to be lax about. Her own nerves were suddenly on fire as she could hear the drumming of his fingers through the phone. He really wasn't happy.

Biting at her lip, Natasha took a deep breathing, dreading the answer to her next question. "What's wrong?"

"Do you think you can meet me somewhere, Natasha? This information is nothing we can trade over the phone." Oh, that sounds optimistic. Her eyes immediately darted to the door at the thought of her charge she supposed she could call her. Being the nosey thing she was, Natasha wasn't optimistic about the story she'd have to tell Elizabeth later but consented none the less with a grunt of agreement. "Go outside, Dembe will retrieve you." Then click. The line was dead.

A deeper frown formed on Natasha's face, and not just because of all the inevitable wrinkles on her face because of one Raymond Reddington but because of Dembe. From what Luli had told her a month or so ago, he was only around if the situation was dire. He was another lost orphan Reddington had saved like her and he seemed to show up if Red was in trouble. Luli had said he was Reddington's bodyguard. A shitty one in her opinion if he was on the other side of the country for business school ninety percent of the time, but she'd keep that thought to herself she decided as she shoved the phone into the back pocket of her shorts.

Opening the bathroom door quietly she paused as she glanced at Elizabeth on the couch. She looked knocked out enough, maybe had a few more hours before she'd wake up with a pounding head and considering it was three in the morning, that didn't leave much time for Natasha. Time to get moving then, she thought to herself moving quickly and quietly through the apartment.

Once she'd gotten down to the ground floor and outside to the street, she immediately noticed the sleek black SUV parked on the curb. It strongly resembled the one she'd been dropped off her in her first night in the loft and the one Luli had retrieved her in before she had met the tropical storm upstairs. Much simpler times, she decided.

She was within arms reach of the passenger side of the vehicle when suddenly the window was rolled down to reveal an African American in the drivers seat, a raised eyebrow in her direction paired with a rather stern face. It left Natasha maybe just a little unsettled, he wasn't what she had expected from what Luli had told her. But, she supposed, a man that was supposed to protect Red from whatever and whomever should be rather intimidating.

"Natasha?"

"Dembe?" Nodding his head at her similar question, the doors were unlocked. She figured that was her signal to get her ass in the car. The perpetual creeps she was getting from the two gangly men loitering at the end of the street, she was rather eager to be up and off the street. Even if Dembe was intimidating.

Climbing into the car, she immediately buckled herself in as Dembe revved the engine. What an impatient man! He must get along with Red famously she decided cynically. The city flew by the car in a rush, Dembe obviously having no belief in a speed limit. Before she could even figure out what part of the city she was in – which wasn't an easy task considering she had literally no sense of direction and she hadn't had the time to map the city in her head – they were at the semi familiar town house Raymond had claimed. She wondered if the real owners of the place were ever coming back…

"Just go inside. I park around back." Dembe instructed sternly, causing Natasha to jump. She hadn't thought he could even speak but in one word questions there for a minute and his baritone voice left something to be desired.

Nodding her head at his instructions, she unbuckled and exited the vehicle, apparently not quick enough as Dembe nearly took her entire top half with him as he sped around the block. Not have even waited for her to be fully out of the vehicle. She cursed the dark skinned man the entire way to the door.

"Good morning, Natasha," Reddington greeted at the door, a semi relaxed look on his face as he stood in the doorway, light from the interior casting every shadows on his face. He looked tired and Natasha half chalked this up to it being three thirty in the bloody morning and him not at all being a night owl.

"Not really morning, Red." She snarked, moving past him and into the town house easily. It looked the same it had the last time she was here, which wasn't saying much but still. She did however make notice of the increased man power in the house. Usually there had just been a handful, but now? It was doubled and they didn't at all look friendly. She was becoming increasingly more interested in this emergency of his more and more.

Clearing his throat from behind her, Raymond closed the front door and motioned to the French double doors off to the side. It was the one room in the town house she'd never gotten around to snooping to, the main reason behind that being it was more or less Raymond's unofficial office and well, Luli was a bitch when it came to his privacy. Speaking of Luli, where was she?

"Where's Luli?" Natasha asked as she followed Red down the short hallway. She didn't mean to sound so curt with the question but she couldn't help it, it was Luli they were talking about here. She was hoping to hear that she'd returned back to Asia; one less problem in America for her to deal with.

"She went back to Vietnam for a business deal of mine." Red explained shortly as the two stepped into his office. It didn't look anything like Natasha expected it to, more like the office of a doctor with all the medical awards hanging on the wall and the dramatic art of skeletons and the insides of bodies. It left Natasha uncomfortable to be honest. The monks hadn't believed in modern medicine, so by association she didn't either. Not to mention one of the girls she'd learned with was the daughter of a doctor and had been one fucked up bitch. So did Natasha like doctors? No, no she did not and did not enjoy their décor either.

"Take a seat, we need to talk." She only nodded mutely at his instructions and went to take a seat in one of the high backed leather arm chairs sitting in front of the desk. They looked like the belonged in some ranch back in Texas.

"I feel like we could've done this over the phone," She sighed, leaning into the plush leather. As much as she planned on dissing the ugly furniture, she wasn't above admitting it was still pretty fucking comfortable.

Shaking his head quietly, Raymond took his seat behind the desk and folded his hand atop it, a serious look forming on his face that had Natasha frowning again. Why did they always have to be so damn serious? Why could nothing be light with them? Her mind immediately drifted to the knocked out Elizabeth and she stopped wishing for light conversations. Heavy and serious was better, she decided quickly. At least it didn't end up with one of them passed out on the toilet…

"I need you to start tying up things with Elizabeth. I've already found a replacement."

"Uh… What?" She asked, shock lacing her voice. Was she not good enough! Was he not happy with her lack of results? But it wasn't her fault! Liz didn't even have any information to give, all she liked was booze and food, like literally that's it. She was more shallow that a goddamn puddle. And yeah, she'd kinda grown on Natasha so why the fuck was he taking her away?

Leaning back, Reddington took a deep breath. She could tell by the brief closing of his eyes that he hadn't expected her to be this difficult. Thus forth she'd been rather easy to deal with. She'd listened to his instructions and followed whatever brief rules he had laid down for the job. He had expected her to breeze right through this part of it too. But she didn't want to. She liked Elizabeth as much of a handful as she was. She had learned a lot from her to be honest. She kinda doubted she'd be so well acclimated to New York without the girl.

"Things are in motion, Natasha. Things that will change everything and we can't be here for them. You need to make up a believable story for leaving the city and execute it by September first. We can't be here any longer than that."

Natasha took a deep breath, trying to quell the rising anger in her chest. She felt like he was making her waste her time. She'd already spent so much on Elizabeth and now, he wanted her to spend more before just simply dropping her and not only that but she had to think of some elaborate goddamn reason to suddenly leave New York! What the actual fuck!?

"Are you crazy or what!?" Natasha finally demanded irritably, her arms crossing over her chest defensively. He had been so adamant about her befriending the girl, so what exactly was so big and scary to make him run off?

"Don't be irrational," Red advised calmly. "I can have Luli come up with a cover for you if that's easier." He added with a thoughtful frown, which only left Natasha that much more annoyed, she could come up with her own goddamn cover story! She just didn't understand. What were they running from? And not all that quickly either if she had until September…

Taking a deep breath, she flattened her hand on her things and tried to organize her rage and thoughts. She couldn't act like a child, even if she felt like he was and really really freaking wanted to. "But why? Just last month you were adamant I had to get close to her and now this? I don't get it."

"I've caught wind of an event in the making and if we're here when it does, it won't be good for either of us. I've already found someone to take your place, you just need to aid the process and we can be on our way."

"What event, Reddington?" He seemed desperate to not share that information with Natasha. It left her angrier than she was to begin with and her stomach in knots. She had thought that he was trying to be honest with her since she had taken on Elizabeth. She had felt like he was anyways. Any questions she had, he'd answer; be it the truth or not she wasn't sure, but she pacified herself with the fact that he was trying. And if he was trying that meant she was actually getting somewhere in whatever shady business he was behind and that meant she had a future, be it whatever kind it may be, it was still a future.

"I don't feel that I can share that, Natasha. I don't wish to worry you." He answered somberly.

She scoffed, "Because telling me that I'm basically fired isn't worrisome at all. Just tell me. If you think it's so important to pull me out, then I have the right to know."

Raymond laughed as he looked across the desk at the young woman, it was hard to believe that just a few months ago she was a child trapped on a mountain. He was realizing more and more every day how much of handful she was, maybe not in the way most American teens were but it was still enough. She was stronger than he let himself realize too. She was doing so much better with Lizzy than he expected. They were the perfect match he had thought they would be and as much as it pained him to separate the two so soon, he had to. He couldn't leave Natasha here and he couldn't stay in the States with everything about to happen. He'd be the first to be looked at and as hard as he was to find, he wasn't risking his freedom on it. It was time to fly the coop once again.

"A radical group of Islamics plan on attacking the city. I haven't gotten a hold of all the details, but from, what I can tell, they'll be successful. I'm sure you understand why the two of us can't be here in the city if that happens." Yeah, because I'm illegal and you're a criminal, Natasha thought sardonically. That sick feeling that had been gnawing at her permanently settled in her belly now, twisting and turning like a storm.

Natasha didn't want to admit it, because she really wasn't eager to leave New York just yet, but she understood the method behind Raymond's madness. She knew from all the reading she'd been doing and maybe just her sheer abundance of common sense, that the country she was currently in wouldn't take lightly to an attack. She anticipated much like Reddington, that a war was sure to break out over it. And being here in the country's famed city? Not such a great idea. Especially not when he was on the most wanted list and she was the daughter of some dead Russian and not everyone was over the whole Cold War thing.

"Oh," Was all she found herself saying as he stared expectantly at her. It wasn't the best answer she knew, or even much of one, but she found herself fretting over how she was going to say goodbye to her new friend and who exactly she was handing her off too. "Who's my replacement?"

"Don't worry, I picked a good one." Raymond replied with a smirk, relaxing further into the desk chair. It had been easier than he expected to give away the information to Natasha and he surprisingly felt lighter over it. Maybe she really was going to be a good second after all.

"Oh wow, reassuring there, Red." She muttered with a roll of her eyes.

"You'll meet him soon enough. Get Dembe to take you back. I'll be in contact with you soon."

"Wait, did you say him?" She asked, struggling against him as he pulled her up from her seat and pushed her out of the door. Why did he say him? Why would he put a him with her!? She was careless, she didn't need a he with her!

"Have a nice day, Natasha." Reddington said with a look that was a mix of annoyance and amusement as he slammed the doors in Natasha's face. Kicking the door in annoyance she turned around to find Dembe staring at her with a blank face. Talk about keeping your emotions in check, she thought in annoyance.

"I can take you to get food." Dembe mentioned flatly after a few moments of dead silence between the two of them. She couldn't tell if Dembe liked her or not, or if that was just his normal self, but at the offer of food, she couldn't help but not care. Food trumped world problems, she decided. She'd worry about Elizabeth and whatever he Raymond was putting with her later.

**August 25, 2001**

Natasha was stressed. Elizabeth was beginning to notice her friends unease and was constantly fretting over the Russian girl. So Natasha was constantly denying her unease and pretending to be happy and carefree when she was anything but. Raymond had yet to fill her in on who exactly this he was and was adamant that she couldn't leave until she introduced the he to the her and it was beginning to exhaust Natasha, especially as the deadline he had given her fast approached.

Every time she actually began enjoying herself with Liz again, she'd remember what she was supposed to be doing and close herself back up. The past month was a new form of punishment for Natasha. Which is why by the time Elizabeth had decided that there had been enough drinks between them and it was late enough into the evening, Natasha was exhausted. The two girls had dragged themselves into a cab, slurred the address to the Indian driver and giggles between each other the entire drive. It was one ornate few nights Natasha actually drank, as illegal as it was in the country, she didn't care. She'd be leaving soon enough and her nerves were just about fried, she had justified it to herself all night.

Once they had arrived at the shoddy apartment building they called their, Natasha had thrown a wad of cash at the cabby before Liz had slurred something that sounded like 'thanks' to the man before the to clumsily climbed out. The crisp summer air of the city blew in their faces as they both tried to use the other to steady the other as the cab sped off into the night. Each step they took had them dangerously close to meeting the cruel, cruel pavement.

"We really should've grabbed some coffee at that place, we passed… You saw it right?" Liz giggled as they leaned against the building. Natasha only nodded her head dumbly at her, trying to center herself as the world took a dangerous dip.

"You ladies okay?" A strange voice asked from their side, cause both girls heads to whip in his direction. He looked normal enough in the dim street lamp lights. A vintage looking denim jacket over some sort of shirt and basic jeans, not the least bit intimidating. He had a charming nerdy look to him to be honest, with the way his hair was gelled and parted and with his hands clumsily shoved into his jeans pocket. He didn't make any warning bells go off in the little drink Russians head.

"We're fine," Natasha drawled, squinting her eyes at him. He kept multiplying and disappearing, she wondered for half a second if he had a twin. She also wondered why her head was so foggy.

The man laughed, a musical thing that didn't put either of the normally defensive girls on edge. "Don't look fine to me."

"Good thing you don't know us, so we're not your problem huh," Elizabeth hiccuped, trying to urge Natasha further into the building, but Natasha wouldn't budge. She couldn't put her finger on it, but there was some thing about him…

"My name is Tom. Now I know you,"

Natasha and Elizabeth both frowned, as the statement seemed to confuse them, which only illicited a grin from the boy. "I don't think that's how that works, Tom." Natasha commented, trailing off uneasily.

"Then what's your girls' name?" He asked with an easy smile. Natasha noticed half heartedly that he was closer than he had been. When exactly had that happened? Liz suddenly elbowed her in her ribs, making Natasha's head snap to face her drink friend who was making a jerking motion with her head. Natasha couldn't quite figure out what she wanted her to do, in her incapacitated state she wasn't so keen on the whole silent communication thing.

"What do you want, Liz?" Natasha finally groaned in aggravation.

"Oh hey, Liz! Nice to meet you. Now what's your name?" Damn, he was getting creepy fast.

"Uh, Nat—" Natasha paused and frowned, her eyes dropping to her feet. That wasn't right, she wasn't supposed to tell people that name, what was it again. "Amber, it's Amber." She answered after a delay and deciding that it was actually the right name to be giving people.

"Now we know each other then, so can I help you girls?"

Both of them looked at each other, a look of indecision and just sheer drunkeness shared between them. Natasha had a niggling feeling in the back of her head to not even bother with him, even if he seemed competent enough because, she wasn't right now and well that wouldn't mix well now would it? But then Elizabeth opened her mouth and it all sort of went downhill from there.

"Could you help us upstairs?" Elizabeth asked with a slur. Natasha couldn't quite tell if she was being flirty or not, and the way her blue eyes were fluttering in the mans direction wasn't much of a hint either because she was pretty sure it was just part of the boos. She was however definitely being stupid she decided as this Tom character nodded his head at her question and was quickly right beside them.

"What floor you girls on?" He asked with a smile as he held the buildings door open for them. Natasha would've thought he was pretty charming if it wasn't for his easy demeanor. He was too calm for some dorky boy in the wrong part of time, he was too calm for anything at this time of night. But why was he here? What did he want? Why was he being so goddamn helpful? Warning bells began ringing in her head the further into the building they went, she was trying to chalk it up to her hangover already coming on but how blurry things were to her still, she kind of doubted it. Which only left him.

"The sixth," Elizabeth answered after Natasha's pregnant silence. Natasha only frowned half heartedly at him as he helped them into the ancient elevator, the whole thing creaking under their weight. "What's wrong?" Liz whispered to Natasha as he pressed the right button for their floor, except she didn't really whisper, it was more of a harsh shout into Natasha's poor ears. It left her cringing and with more of a frown than she had already had. She was seriously going to have to invest in Botox early, her drunk mind decided.

"Why are you girls out so late huh?" Tom asked as the elevator made its slow ascent. Natasha inwardly groaned, even drunk she hated small talk and by the noisy sound of displeasure from her equally drunk friend, she wasn't feeling it so much either.

"None of your business." Natasha replied sternly as she tried to cross her arms over her chest and stay upright. Basically it was one of the other and she decided rather slowly, that staying up right was the winner. She didn't need Tom picking her up. He seemed kinda handsy.

Holding his hands up in surrender, he laughed, "No worries, no need to get upset there, Amber." God, she really did hate that name the more people called her it. And maybe it was just in her head, but she swore the way he said it was just to annoy her.

Once the elevator dinged for their floor, the three of them spilled out into the hallway. Clumsily, the two girls wobbled their way down the hall, Tom close on their tails. Once they had reached the door of their apartment, Natasha couldn't help but wonder why he was still following them. Getting them up to their floor was a gallant enough of an action in her opinion, but no. He was still there.

"Do you want to come in?" Liz asked as Natasha shoved the key into the door. Natasha couldn't help but groan in response. She wanted to get away from him. The longer she was around him, the more she sobered and the more she sobered the more he made her uncomfortable. She wasn't too interested in finding out what exactly. She was nearly to the end of her stint with Liz and in New York. She didn't need any trouble.

"Sure," Tom smiled, following the two of them in with ease. The loft that had always felt far too big and open to Natasha, suddenly felt smaller with this new addition to it. She didn't like it. "Nice place." Tom added after a cursory glance over the room. Natasha didn't like it. Not one bit.

"I'm sleepy." Liz yawned as she kicked off her heels and ambled to what Natasha considered her friends unofficial bed. She didn't understand how she ever got any sleep on the damn thing to be honest, but wasn't damn near ready to offer up her own. She wasn't that good of a friend. But, it looked like Liz was making up for it because here she was sleepy and inviting complete strangers in all at the same time. Talk about friend talent.

Looking at Natasha, Tom raised an eyebrow both at her standoffish drunk stance and Elizabeth's sheer oddness. "She always like that?"

Lips twitching slightly, Natasha nodded her head. "Only when she's drunk. Sure the life of the party." She answered quietly as she watched Liz fall back onto the couch with a loud sigh followed by the annoying sound that was her drunk snoring. Well, between that and the boy to her side, she definitely wasn't sleeping anything off tonight.

"She passed out? Just like that?" Tom asked her thoughtfully as he peered over the back of the couch to the sleeping beauty in question. Natasha merely grunted in annoyance as she kicked off her own shoes and clumsily made her way to the cupboards in the kitchen. Tea. She needed tea.

"Natasha," At the sound of her actual name, her back stiffened, her cloudy mind cleared and her left hand immediately reached for the butchers knife sheared in the knife block on her kitchen counter. She'd known something was off and it looked like she was about to pay for it. Her muscles tensed when she heard his feet moving on the old wood floors, her body turning completely to face him and her arms poised and ready to strike with the large knife. His hands were immediately up when he noticed her defensive pose and his feet backpedalled as quickly as they could.

"I'm a friend!" He exclaimed in a sharp whisper, she could tell he was hoping not to wake her friend. The gesture was lost on her. How did he know her name? And what the fuck was he doing here?

"Who the fuck are you!" She demanded, pointing the knife at him threateningly. She hadn't been the most talented at knife fighting but she sure as hell wasn't letting the weasel standing in front of her take her down easily. How was she getting Liz out of this, she found herself wondering in a brief second before the imposter answered her question.

"Tom Keen. Reddington sent me." He answered calmly, his hands remaining raised and his body relaxing when Natasha didn't lash out at him with her blade. He was more hopeful about the situation than he should've been to be honest.

"What do you mean he sent you?"

"I was told I'm your replacement." Tom responsed casually with a shrug, his hands dropping at what was now a familiar frown on Natasha's face.

She didn't understand and she didn't like not understanding. Red hadn't said anything about her replacement meeting them, hadn't said anything about him showing up so soon either. Even if she was becoming more and more anxious to leave. As she looked him over again, she realized that he was too easy and normal. She should've noticed the ulterior motive of it all earlier. That's what she got for getting drunk fucking once.

"He didn't mention you." Natasha commented harshly, her body relaxing not even an inch. It wasn't much of a lie, Red hadn't mentioned who he was exactly in the slightest. Just that she was supposed to be that gateway for him getting close to Liz. From what she had seen in the last twenty minutes, he definitely had that whole thing down. Didn't need any of the help she didn't give.

"Well here I am," He said, shrugging again. "You can call him if you're concerned." The idea wasn't a bad one, not that she was going to admit that to the casually smiling boy in front of her. He couldn't be much older than her she concluded. How could he be so calm?

Reaching into her pocket she pulled her trusty black square out and flipped it open, pressing one and holding it to her ear, she kept the knife steady in her hand. The phone rang twice before the typical greeting echoed in her ears, mindlessly she gave the code and waited for Red to pick up the phone. She didn't let her surprise show when it had been Dembe to answer first, but found herself impatient for Reddington to give her answers.

"Natasha?"

"Did you send someone here without mentioning it to me?" She asked flatly, watching with little interest as Tom's arms tensed. She wondered briefly if he had actually expected her to call Red or to just take her word.

"Oh! You met him already? What a quick fellow," Raymond laughed. "Quite an efficient one too from what I've been told. Can't say from personal experience though.."

Natasha frowned at his answer, it sounded like he was saying he hadn't even met this Tom character. What the actual fuck? With how important she had found Elizabeth to be to him and how important she'd grown to be to her, she'd expected better than that. "Are you saying you haven't met him?" Tom smiled sheepishly at her from across the room at her question. If that wasn't answer enough.

"Don't fret over it, Natasha, I've paid good money for him. Do you think you could write that letter we've been talking about? I think now would be a wonderful time."

Why was him paying good money for him supposed to comfort her? It only left her even more unsettled, if he was bought and easily paid for, who else could buy him? And she wasn't ready to write that letter or more of a note really.

It was supposed to tell Liz that she'd gotten a call from her mother saying how ill her father had suddenly turned and how she needed to return to Chicago immediately, how she didn't even have time to say goodbye to her it was urgent. She'd been dreading it since Dembe had suggested it and Red had liked it so much, it had become the plan for her departure. It was cold and bitter and more of a lie than any other part of their friendship had been. She had never done friends before, never had any interest in anyone but herself and anyone that could help her personally and she supposed Elizabeth fell into that bracket. But she had really grown on her, the more she thought about it the more she realized how much she'd miss the boozy book reading American.

"You want me to leave now?" She found herself sputtering, her knife wielding arm dropping to her side in upset. She wasn't ready. No matter how much she'd been trying to push Liz away the past month, she was ready.

"Time is running out, Natasha. Just the other day you mentioned the same." She sighed in defeat. She had made that observation. She was ready to get away from the disaster awaiting this country but she wasn't ready to give up her new friend. She'd never been able to master the monks teachings of living and let live; the teaching of letting things go in hope that they would return. She was far too selfish and controlling for such a narrative in life and she'd happily admit it.

"I-"

"It's okay, Natasha. It's time to go. Trust me." Raymond assured her easily, his voice so calm and even it caused her pause. She was not calm. Not at all. She was in the middle of a freak out. She was having to leave behind the person that had become her life over the past month with a complete and utter stranger. A good looking one to be honest, but still.

Taking a deep breath she ran her free hand over her face in exhaustion, trying to force her thoughts to quiet and her feelings towards one Elizabeth Scott to cease. She had known from the beginning that none of this situation would be permanent. Just a mere test that she had doubted from that start, but had ultimately become her first friendship. She'd known that she was just temporary, just taking the first step into her new life. But, it still hurt the young Russians heart to thing of leaving. For the cold hearted monster they'd all believed her to be in her childhood, she'd sure let herself get attached to something so temporary.

"Natasha?" Reddington asked carefully over the phone, the silence from the young girl putting him in his own seat of unease.

"I'll be ready in ten. Send a car." She instructed curtly before flipping the phone shut and sliding it into her back pocket. Keeping the knife in one hand, she moved around the kitchen and found a pen and a menu with a blank back.

"Are you even sober enough to write a note..?" Tom quipped from across the room. Snapping her eyes to his turned form, she frowned both T his question and just him. When had he even moved? And who the bloody hell did he think he was? Going through all the trinkets and knick knacks the two girls had come across at flea markets and antique stores around the city. "Because no offense, but you did let me in." He added, like it was supposed to take the sting out of whatever burn he thought he had delivered. Natasha couldn't help but roll her eyes at him as she began scribbling on the restaurant menu.

"Liz let you in, idiot. Good luck with that one," Natasha snapped back to him after a breath, her writing becoming sloppier as he laughed at her. Sounded like she had a future as a goddamn comedian if you asked him.

"Yeah, bu-"

"Can you just shut the fuck up?" She snapped crossly, her eyes narrowing on the short note in front of her. It was straight to the point and lest no room for questions. Liz would have no choice but to accept it, especially with mister sunshine over there. It didn't leave Natasha comforted in the slightest. She was having to leave her with one arrogant son of a bitch and like all things that made Natasha unsettled, it left a dirty taste in her mouth.

"Look," He started, crossing back over to the kitchen where Natasha stood, her back facing him and her patience draining. "It's easy to get over jobs, you won't even remember her in a few months so don't get your panties in such a twist." He surely was ballsy and over confident with his reassurances, Natasha decided silently as she tried to ignore him and his placating. She wondered briefly if Liz would be able to tolerate him any better sober and sans her.

Natasha decided quickly as Tom finally slipped into silence, that she needed to haphazardly pack a bag to really sell the whole leaving for good and in a rush thing. The thought had occurred to her before, clearly, as she'd been planning her departure for quite a while, but she was suddenly at a loss at what to take. She'd acquire far more in just her short stay with Liz, than she had had her entire life. She'd always known she'd be a materialistic person once she got into the real world, the monks had even agreed to her snide comments on the matter, but she hadn't expected it to be so easy. She had piles of clothes and shoes littering her half of the loft, along with books and vhs' she had picked up with Liz. There were piles of old vinyls and cd cases all over the coffee table and she'd admit, that she was attached to it all just like she was Liz.

Taking a deep breath Natasha crossed the loft quickly to the room divider and her bed and snatched up the duffel bag sitting at he foot of her bed. Liz had forced Natasha into doing the one week trial period at a gym just to get the goddamn complimentary duffel bags. The American girl was certainly worse than the Russian, Natasha constantly found herself thinking. Without much thought to what she was grabbing, Natasha went around the foot of her bed and grabbed any article of clothing she could get her hands one. After filling the poor nylon bag to its brim, she zipped it closed with a sad sigh and turned to face her replacement. An interested look on his face as he leaned against the room divider.

"What?" She snapped with narrowed eyes, not enjoying the once over he was giving her.

Tom laughed as he uncrossed his arms, head tilting at the little Russian doll in front of him. Coming into this job, she wasn't what he had expected in the slightest. "You're not what I expected is all, Natasha."

"What does that even mean?" Her tone was full of accusations as she threw the strap of the duffel bag over her shoulder. She was suddenly very happy with her choice of ignoring Liz and her impractical mini dress she'd almost forced Natasha into. Leaving was easier this way, that much was for sure. Now where were her damn shoes, she wondered.

Tom shrugged, "Even the underbelly of society talks, Natasha."

Why did that not leave warm feeling in her stomach? She swore her stomach dropped at his very words. Why hadn't she ever thought of that? Red had always been honest with her about where she had come from and how he had come to find her. She let herself forget some times, it's not like she even knew that part of her life and it had never reared its ugly head into the one she had, so she ignored it. She was suddenly having a very hard time ignoring it. There were a lot of things she wanted to discuss with Raymond once she saw him, and the list was only growing.

"I didn't mean to upset you, Nat-" He had begun to apologize when the sudden blaring of a car horn interrupted him. Natasha felt relived, she knew it was Dembe. Her escape was in motion and she felt relieved over it. As much as it pained her to leave the city she considered hers and the unconscious friend on the couch, she was relieved. A new can of worms was suddenly in her lap and she didn't know what to do with it. So she did the only thing that felt right in her gut; she left and didn't look back.

Her feet carried her quickly out of the apartment and to the stairs, her panicked thoughts not even allowing her to consider the elevator or shoes. Half of her regretted the last decision as she broke through the door on the main floor. This wasn't a grade a apartment building to be honest and her feet had seen a lot of sketchy things. She was owed a bath. Once she was outside of the building, she immediately noticed the oh too familiar vehicle with Dembe in it, the passenger side window rolled down so that she would know it was him. Her body sighed in relief once her hand touched the door handle.

Dembe had become more of a kindred soul than she likes ninety percent of the time. He was curt and quiet, straight to the point whenever she rambled and a pillar of strength for her in this new life. He was the first that Red had saved and he gave her hope. Hope that she could escape the ghosts of a family she didn't know. Of a name that meant nothing to her, but certainly did to what little native Russians she'd met at school. Of a name that crept up on her like a bad storm in June.

"Are you alright, Natasha?" Dembe inquired as she threw her body into the vehicle. He had known better than anyone just how upset she was over leaving Elizabeth. Since Red had enlightened her to the fact that she was leaving, she had been reaching out to him more and more. Dembe hadn't known what to do with the young girl at first, but had adapted to the big brother roll quite easily.

"I'm fine." Natasha sighed as she buckled herself in while haphazardly trying to throw the good sized bag into the back seat. She had definitely bitten off more than she could chew with that one as she ended up half in the back and half in front and stuck.

"Why do you not have shoes?" He asked as he pulled away from the car, trying to ignore the struggling girl next to him. He could've helped her, but helping her usually ended up in some self righteous speech from the young Russian and he wasn't in the mood.

Huffing as she fumbled with the seatbelt to release it, she frowned at Dembe. Out of all the goddamn questions to ask her, he would ask about her shoes. She loved those shoes too, looks like they were going to be Liz's new pair. "It's complicated." Was Natasha's short answer as she finally got the bag off of her body and settled back into the seat. She decided to ignore the amused look Dembe was giving her. She had enough problems tonight without him adding on to them.

"Are you excited, little doll? I believe Mister Reddington is taking you to Europe." Dembe asked with little enthusiasm. She knew he was just trying to be kind and fill the silence she was letting permeate. She also knew he was trying to get a rise out of her, she hated when he called her little doll.. It wasn't her fault she was so tiny! It was whatever fucked up genetics she'd been blessed with.

"Wait, don't you mean us? I thought you were coming!" She found herself whining as the realization had dawned on her. Natasha didn't know why she was so surprised. Dembe had a life here in America. He was going to some renowned school to help Reddington later in life and had only taken off time strictly to babysit her in the simplest way to put it. She didn't know why, but the idea that this new place they were going was somewhere she didn't need to be babysat left her uncomfortable. Was Reddington getting rid of her again? The one singular question that her panicked thoughts would always boil down to.

"Don't be silly, Natasha. I've taken enough time away from school as it is. I can't always be around to hold your hand."

Natasha rolled her eyes, "I just thought you were going to be around. I don't need you to hold my hand."

"You're very defensive, Natasha. Is there any cause?"

"Are we going straight to the airport or what?" Natasha asked sullenly, choosing to ignore him. She wasn't in the mood for his psycho analyzing bull shit. It had to be literally the most undermining and demeaning thing he could do to her.

"Yes. Mister Reddington is waiting on the Tarmac." Peachy, she thought to herself. More airsickness. She was definitely not looking forward to this flight. This very sudden flight. Trying not to think about it? Was making her sick, just in the quickly moving car. She was suddenly cursing Dembe's need for speed.

Her stomach leaped into her throat as Dembe through the car into a turn, the audible sound of the tires squealing making her top half double over. Don't throw up, don't throw up, she kept chanting to herself. She had a feeling Dembe and Red wouldn't be too happy with her if she ruined the interior.

"Natasha?" Dembe asked unsurely, eyes flicking to the young girls position. She seemed ill and he had just had the car detailed. "Please don't vomit, Natasha." He sighed at her sharp intake of breathe.

"I'm trying not to!" She groaned, wrapping her arms around her torso as her stomach continued to rock. She didn't understand why the fuck she was getting motion sick! It was planes and heights that bothered her, not plain and simple fast cars.

"I can tell," Dembe sighed. "Do I need to stop?"

"Let's just get it over with." Natasha mumbled. God, this flight really was going to be terrible. Here she was with her pre-sickness. She wondered briefly if this was like some bad sign from above. Had it really been a good idea to leave Liz? Was it really a good idea to even be leaving in the first place?

"Do you know anything about my family?" Natasha blurted out, her head lifting slightly and her eyes going to Dembe. She didn't know where the question came from. Which was a lie, if she really tried. What that Tom character had said, had bothered her. She didn't like her name being a topic of conversation amongst criminals; even if she had come from the biggest batch of them in Russia.

Dembe frowned, his grip tightening on the wheel as he turned into the private airport entrance. From the car, you could see Reddington's plane fueled and ready to go and the Tarmac lit for their take off. Raymond himself was pacing beside it. "I don't think that's something for me to answer, Natasha."

"Well he can't tell me anything either," She huffed, forcing herself to straighten up in the passenger seat. "Both of you are useless. It's like you don't know anything at all. And it's not fucking fair because that little Tom character he bought? Yeah, he fucking knew who I was! He knew about my family and everything. So why can't you two fucking tell me anything reliable about my family?" Natasha seethed, her sick stomach becoming less and less of a problem the higher her voice raised.

Dembe stopped the vehicle, right next to Raymond and what both could tell was a sour attitude. He was taken aback by Natasha's admission. He hadn't personally met the boy, but he had liaised with Red while he contracted him and he hadn't expected anyone to know of Natasha's background. It was something that would have to be dealt with he knew, but not something he was interested in dealing with. He was already behind in his studies and that was the most important thing to him as of present.

"I don't have anything to tell you, Natasha."

Natasha had just opened her mouth to object – she knew he knew something, he was freaking Dembe! – when Raymond was suddenly opening the door, his usual kind and serious smile on his face as he stood patiently there and waited for her to get out of the vehicle. She felt herself becoming annoyed, but more at Raymond's fake behavior than at being interrupted. She was tired and annoyed. He had rushed her into leaving by pushing this creepy Tom character in on her, was making her leave the city tonight and he was acting like everything was peachy. Like everything was fine. He was keeping secrets from her and she just knew it, she could feel it dammit.

"Good evening, Natasha. You look disgruntled. Did everything run smoothly?" Reddington asked evenly as the young girl climbed out of the vehicle. He could tell she was upset. He knew she had been putting off leaving Elizabeth since he had first mentioned it and for that he was thankful but the upcoming situation was not something the two of them could be near, that he was sure of. So, broader horizons was what was on the menu.

"Not it did," Natasha answered just as evenly as she opened the door for the backseat and grabbed her bag. She was determined to be calm. She was going to get the details of where exactly he was taking her and what exactly were the plans for her before she released her anger and rage on the man. She could be patient every once in a while.

"Good news to hear then!" He congratulated happily as he clapped his hands together, quickly turning and heading towards the plane. "I have some dramamine on the plane for you. To avoid a repeat of last time." Reddington commented over her should. Natasha tried to keep herself from feeling too grateful as she followed behind him. She would've said goodbye to Dembe, but the moment she had grabbed her bag and shut the door, he was speeding off in the direction they had came.

"Rude," Natasha muttered to herself as she stepped onto the plane.

It was the same one from before. Lush interior, with deep browns and reds and two plush single chairs and a couch, along with the bar in the back and a small ensuite to the side. She noticed immediately the small bottle of pills on the table in front of one of the chairs. She certainly wasn't having a repeat. Dumping her bag on the couch she grabbed the bottle and opened it before popping the pills into her mouth and dry swallowing. She was certainly ready to be back on solid ground and they hadn't even taken off yet.

"I believe we have a lot to discuss, Miss Angelova."

No shit, Sherlock.


End file.
